Category: Let's talk
I don't know about you, but I'm against teenagers having babies or people
having babies at a young age before they get married. For one, teens can't
support a baby finnancially. Also, the girl and the guy do not stay together.
As teenagers, it is less likely that they do anyway. If the boy and the girl
break up and they have a baby together, the boy and the girl are stuck with
each other forever, or at least until the kid is 18. Teens also do not finish
school when they have a child and they never get a full time job or anything
like that. What do you all think about this topic? Are you for or against this?
I'd prefer a teenager not have a baby atthat age.
Not because of not being married, but I'd hope they could remain without responsibilities until they were older.
I want them to be able to sleep late, or whatever for a few years.
Most teen girls have babies because of bade advice, or shame of abortion, and lack of sexual education.
Also you have to say what is teen. An 18 year old might decide to start her family and get married, so.
The most rational approach is what do we do about it when it does happen? Seems now that in many places high schools have teen mom programs and the like which will help.
I agree with the sentiment, and probably for different reasons than you suspect:
During my teen years, I was responsible for the care of my brother dying of muscular dystrophy. That means getting up at night, turning him over three or four times, changing, bathing, etc. etc. Coming home after school only to pull second shift like a dad. And since I'm a dad now -- mine being 21 now --, I can say with clarity that the parallels are there, even if the situations are different, one getting worse and dying, the other getting bigger and better.
But as a teenager there are so many things you do in that kind of a situation that you will regret later. I know I was just a kid, I can see that with my rational mind. But that doesn't mean I have lived without regret for some things. Quite the opposite. Though not so much anymore, almost 45 here and I lived with that regret for a good 20 years.
I don't say any of this out of some sex-negative persuasion coming from the parallel Puritanical persuasions. No, not at all: I pity someone who is in that situation, and hope that anyone who isn't can stay free of it until they're older and can handle it.
As an aside, abstinence education is a great way to see a lot of pregnancies among teens: no pragmatism, no being responsible when it happens, no condom use, etc. If you do a bit of sniffing around online you'll find the states with the highest teen pregnancy numbers are those who teach abstinence-only education.
As always, the real question comes down to: "What are we going to do about it?"
Leo is on point. I'm not against teen pregnancy as such, I hope for the sake of the teens that if they do have a baby, they have the support and resources they need.
It's totally ridiculous for the op to come on here and say teen pregnancy is bad because teens don't stay together. Guess what, my parents had their first kid when my mum was 37 and they didn't stay together, age simply isn't a factor.
It can be hard for a teenager, certainly in countries like the US and UK, to have a kid because a lot of people are having children later these days. So it limits your social life, the chance you have to complete school, and it can be really stressful. I don't have a child but I live with someone who had one at 19. That isn't even that young, and yet it totally affected whether she could finish university, how much money she had etc.
Having a child is a huge decision whatever age you are. I really feel for people of any age who have children when it is unplanned and they are struggling financially, or for other reasons. It can be lonely.
I'm sorry, but what simplistic reasoning on the posters part.
Do I think teen pregnancy is a good idea? No, not necessarily, but to say that none of the teen parents stay together, none of the moms go back to school, none of them have full time jobs ever, etc. is at best a bunch of blanket statements, at worst total ignorance.
No, teen parents don't have it easy. But they're not all total failures; in fact, many of them turn out to be successful, responsible adults. Single or not, they have pretty much the same chances at success as parents at any other age.
As Holly pointed out, older parents can be just as unprepared or just as immature about parenthood as some teens. I think in general people who aren't ready to be parents shouldn't procreate. And I guess many would say that teens are not ready by default. But guess what? sex is had by young people.
hey applegirl. are you ready to be a mom? Yeah... probably not. Especially judging by your posts to some threads as of late. Your reasoning isn't what I'd call very mature. Yet, didnt' you say in a different recent thread that you were just forced to end an FWB relationship? That revolved around sexual intimacy, didn't it?
Sex can very well lead to pregnancy. It's bound to.
lol.
And now, le'ts flip the coin. You're twenty two according to your profile, right? I was twenty two when I found out I was expecting my unplanned child. I was in a long term relationship, but we wern't planning for a baby. We weren't ready.
But I had the wherewithal to gather my resources, the support to help me out in my time of need, and the wisdom to care for and learn about my child and how to be a good parent. Guess what? I graduated college the month after I had my son. I began working two months later. And though I don't have a traditonal fulltime job, I made my work from home into a fullfledged business; I work as a writer now and three years later, my partner and I, who are still together by the way, own our own home.
one of my best friends from high school had her first child at fifteen. She had her second at seventeen. Was that a good idea? Who knows? maybe not. But take a look at her ten years later. Today was her eleventh anniversary with her children's father. They got married exactly a year ago. As high school sweethearts, they made a pact that if they were still together and going strong ten years into their relationship, they'd marry. And they did. And guess what? Both have really good jobs; he's a head manager at a tech firm, she's a medical procedures consultant at a local hospital. both are in their mid twenties. Their kids are both in elementary school ; good successful kids.
And no, I'm actually not exaggerating. I understand that this couple may be an exception, but they are still a real example nonetheless, and they aren't the only ones by far. So I get your intentions, apple girl, but please, don't generalize; it makes you look ignorant. And use your critical thinking skills to do a little analysis and to think things through a bit.
I went to church, and chatted with a good friend. She's a teen mom, going to school, with support, and brought her baby to church. She is doing it right, and I bet bucks, she's another success story.
My mother, on the other hand, quit school, never went back, and got hurt, because she was pushed into doing more lifting than her body would allow.
Despite my mom's failure to do something with her life, I'm glad I'm alive. Someone told her to abort her child, and she told them to f... off.
And, I don't think my birth defects matter one bit. I'm here for a reason.
Will I have kids? I'll adopt, if I can.
I'm sick of the people that force women to get abortions. "Getting rid of the problem," doesn't always solve it.
Blessings,
Sarah
I'm 23 actually. And a lot of teens have a hard time when they have a child
at a young age. Some teens who have children aren't working so they have
to live with their parents and the parents have to support the child until the
couple is working, and since they can't support a kid, the couple often gets in
to a lot of fights and sometimes it doesn't work. Sometimes teen pregnancy
is an accident. It happens because of broken condoms, missed doses of birth
control, or rape. I watch videos of people on youtube who had kids at a
young age and their significant other is still in the picture. So it can work but
it doesn't always.
The statement, "It can work but it doesn't always" applies to literally every
kind of relationship. For teens to octogenerians. Are you against all forms of
relationship and child bearing?
No shit, applegirl, lol. That's kind of like saying, well, lots of people drive cars. sometimes they aren't careful, and they hit other cars. Sometimes, accidents happen. Accidents happen because sometimes a driver is careless, or because the road is slippery or the driver is tired and falls asleep at the wheel. Sometimes, people die in car accidents. And their cars get wrecked. I've watched YouTube videos of cars that got into accidents.
Point? Well, um, yeah, my point is, cars, or rather driving them, can sometimes be dangerous.
Hmm. so.. will this statement stop us all from getting into cars? Uh, no. probably not. In fact, no, not at all.
See here, sweetie? What I'm trying to demonstrate is: your point is incredibly pointless. it's something we already know. And furthermore, it can be applied to any age group and any relationship. Does it happen often to teens? sure. but just look beyond your own little bubble, look at our generation for instance. Are there acccidental pregnancies of people in their early to mid twenties? Yep, sure. As a matter of fact, probably more so than teens. Are many people in their twenties not yet equipped to support a child or even themselves? Sure thing. Do many people in their twenties get with each other, sleep together, and then break up? Uh, yeah, of course they do.
Hey, guess what?
You know, sometimes, sex results in pregnancy. Yep, you know, sometimes, even if you're supposedly protected. sometimes, birth control pills didnt' work (as in my case, thank you very much), and yeah, condoms do sometimes break.
Point? Newsflash: Sex sometimes results in pregnancy. Applegirl, stop having sex. lol. Swear off sex forever lest you should become pregnant and transfer your poor reasoning abilities to your offspring.
Come on mean girl. Lol
AppleGirl, I'd like to know what your solution is?
Are you saying no teen should ever have a child?
What would you do to prevent this?
I'm interested in your thinking on this.
Take everyone to church and teach them abstenance. Sew together all vaginas and segregate teens by gender. Shame them for even thinking about sex... mutilate the genitals of young people as a coming of age rite... and then quietly go have sex with your own unlawful partner, whore, slave, etc. of choice...
Oh. Wait. Damn. I think history beat me to most or all of the above solutions. :D
Oh now you. hahaha
I agree with poster 2. However let me add that while not the ideal situation, such things happen. Passing judgement does nothing. It is futile.
Everybody is entitled to their own opinion. I went to high school with a girl
who had a baby. She wasn't working or anything so she couldn't support the
baby. She was living at home with her parents, and all they did was let her
live there; they didn't help her take care of the baby or anything.
And you naturally made the conclusion that all teen parents are like this one
case you saw in your high school, and are suddenly against the idea entirely to
the point that you feel comfortable making sweeping generalizations? That's
highly intellectually irresponsible. Would you like it if I said, "I saw a girl say
something dumb and easily disproven on a zone post once, so all girl's opinions
must be dumb and easily disproven?" No, you wouldn't, because that's a terrible
thing to say. Just as the sweeping generalizations you've made are also terrible
things to say about people you don't know.
Also, um, they gave her a roof over her head. Have you ever considered that some people may not actually want their parents assistance caring for a child? Maybe all she requested was a place to live. Now, I don't know her, so I don't know if this is the case, but you're making pretty fucking disgusting assumptions about people here.
Hey, look. Some teens' parents bend over backwards to help care for their kids. Proponents call that sort of thing supportive, but opponents say it enables and doesn't teach about responsibility.
Some parents of teen parents meet their childrens basic needs and then step aside and allow the teen to parent. Proponents of this pathway say that parents are being supportive by meeting their children's basic needs to keep them safe while allowing them the freedom to grow up as they should, since they became parents themselves.
Opponents of this method say that step aside parents aren't supportive enough and generally set up their children for failure.
So what.
You again said a whole lot of nothing and made a non-point. Moot. Everyone's entitled to their own oppinion, but we still don't get what yours is. Furthermore, we don't know what ideas you have to back it up. I'm a fan of intellectual discourse. What do you have to add that smells even a little bit of intellect?
Put simply: teen pregnancy is perhaps a bigger risk than pregnancy when you're older. But I don't think that should be grounds to "agree" or "disagree" with it. Leo is on point. "What do we do about it?" is the more pertinent question. Because abstinence-only sex-ed is stupid, shaming is stupider yet, and practicality should win the day. You're not going to stop teens having sex. You're not going to stop teen pregnancy. So the best thing to do, if you can, is to better arm teens in general in case it happens.
Sure, they're not always able to hold things together. Sure, they're maybe less likely to stay in that relationship, or less able to cope with the emotional, psychological or financial stress. So should we -encourage teen pregnancy? I daresay we shouldn't. But should we condemn it? I hardly see the point.
Hello folks. I agree with what LeoGuardian said. The question is what do we do about it? My sister had a baby when she was 15 years old. She put it up for adoption. I think if a teen is still in high school and has a kid then she should put it up for adoption. First, the teen isn’t ready to raze the baby. The parents end up being the parents of her child. Often times the boyfriend or whatever he is out of the picture because he doesn’t want to help raze the kid. Also, let’s face it. Teens aren’t ready to raze a kid yet. The best thing my sister did was put my nephew up for adoption. Just so you know, abortion is not the answer. Abortion is murder. Just watch the Planned Parenthood videos and watch abortions occur on YouTube. Besides, abortions are ungodly.
There we have it, ladies and gents. Another talking head with nothing much to say. ...
Uh oh. Yay. I think we found a good match for miss applegirl!!
I think what we found is someone who agrees and someone who isn't acting
like a 5-year-old. I do watch a lot of videos on youtube on people who had
babies while they were still in high school or while they were starting college.
A lot of them did online school. They take all of their classes online.
I guess I'm not sure what the point is in this discussion. Do you agree with teen pregnancy or not? Um, really? Doesn't some of this depend on how old the teen is and how much support they got from family and/or friends? My sister had her first child at the age of nineteen, and her second at the age of 21. She's still with her husband. I know a couple from my high school that got together when they were 16, had a baby at 17, and are still together the last I knew. This was back in 1982, about a year before we all graduated. And as far as abortion, you can agree or disagree, but you don't have the right to run someone else's life for them. What are we actually solving here?
If you think I am a talking head you are stupid!!!! Just look up what Ron Paul has to say about abortion. It is not the tipical talking points you hear from the conservative media. That's partly what influenced my view on the subject. Also, I believe in preserving life.
if you believed in preserving life, you'd take a good look at the poverty and misfortune that befalls unwanted and unplanned children and you'd come up with a few solutions to ensure that the people we already have on earth live quality lives, have access to basic necessities, and make their ways into homes where they are wanted, cared for and loved. You wouldn't just regurgitate another talking heads straw man points. You're right. You're not a talking head. You're a finger puppet of a talking head. lol.
I've done some supporting of 20 somethings and 40 somethings that had babies, so in my experience, how old they are didn't seem to matter at all.